Memoirs of a Detective
by Ran-dezvous
Summary: A series of memoirs based on the possible endings of Detective Conan.


**Title: **Gratitude  
**Author: **Ran-dezvous  
**Genre: **Spiritual/General  
**Fandom: **Detective Conan  
**Character: **Kudou Shinichi  
**Word Count: **1,325  
**Rating: **G  
**Original Publish Date: **December 25, 2006  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Detective Conan/Meitantei Conan. Thus, I have no control of the ending. Aoyama Gosho, however, does have control of it. I can only speculate on the possible endings.  
**Notes: **This memoir is written many years after the ending of Detective Conan. (I don't know how many; the point is, Shinichi's already in his adulthood.) Shinichi looks back at his past…

* * *

**Possible Ending #1: **_Also known as the ending I wish to occur (and a lot of other DC fans too, I guess). _Haibara Ai is successful in creating an antidote. The Black Organization is brought down. Kudou Shinichi and Mouri Ran get together.

* * *

All my life, I've always wanted to be a detective just like my idol, Sherlock Holmes. I know he's only a fictional character created by Arthur Conan Doyle, but I don't care—he's the best detective ever! During my childhood, I would spend most of my time reading Sherlock Holmes and other detective novels, a trait that persisted until the present. I wanted to become a detective so much that I even quit Teitan High's football (soccer) team. Ran, my best friend from childhood and currently my wife, told me that I would have been a national hero by now if I didn't quit.

I was able to achieve my dream of being a detective and at the age of sixteen, I became a famous detective in all of Japan, with my name always in the news. I was known as the "Detective of the East," while my rival from Osaka, Hattori Heiji, was known as the "Detective of the West." I was also known by many other names such as the "Savior of the Police Force" and the "Heisei Holmes."

I let the fame and glory get to me. I enjoyed reading fan mail and gloating of my achievements to Ran, the woman I loved. She couldn't see that, though. Why would she? I was only an egotistic person who enjoyed babbling about Sherlock Holmes. But all of that was about to change after a trip to Tropical Land with Ran.

I promised Ran that if she won the All-City Karate Championships, I would take her there. It was basically her idea and I decided to seize the opportunity—the opportunity to tell her the feelings I've kept deep inside my heart for so long. So much for that. All I ended up doing was chattering away about Sherlock Holmes at the Mystery Coaster, which made her angry. And in a lower tone of voice, she asked me, "Shinichi, why did you agree to this?"

There was my chance. It came as swiftly as it disappeared, for as I tried to muster the courage to tell her what I _really _wanted to tell her, she screamed as the roller coaster ride began.

As the ride came to a stop, I heard another scream. It was louder than Ran's.

There was a middle-aged man who was beheaded in the same ride Ran and I were in. Megure-keibu and his men from the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department were called in to investigate the case. I had to help solve the case as well.

As usual, I ended up solving it. Ran was crying for the victim's murder. Instead of comforting her, I told her that I've seen plenty of murders and that it's best to let it go. So instead of telling her that I loved her, she ended up talking about my insensitivity and I, in turn, defended the fact that detectives aren't supposed to let themselves be affected by murder.

Just then, I saw one of the men in black who refused to give away his name during the investigation earlier. I had bad vibes about the two earlier and it was now the chance for me to prove it. I left Ran and decided to follow them.

Little was I about to know that my life was going to take a very big turn. It not only had affected me, but the people in my life as well. It's been years since it ended, but that awful event helped me to become a better person. I'm still labeled by Ran as a detective geek, though. If it weren't for this, she and I wouldn't have gotten together. Hattori Heiji and I wouldn't have become the best of friends; instead, we would have remained rivals up to this day. Mouri Ran would have never met Toyama Kazuha, Heiji's childhood friend and currently his wife as well. As for Miyano Shiho, who was once known as Haibara Ai, I wouldn't have met her at all, much less have any idea what would have happened to her.

There were also quite a number of cases that when I think about it carefully, I would have never solved or maybe even encountered. Ran, her father, and countless others could have died in that almost-bombed Shinkansen (bullet train, literally "new trunk line"). Instead of salvaging their lives, I would have been the one to investigate their deaths. Being a former member of the Shounen Tantei wasn't so bad after all.

The criminal syndicate that brought this situation upon me, the Black Organization, would probably still be there if Shiho or the FBI wouldn't be able to trace them.

I suppose you must be wondering now what happened to me back there in Tropical Land that was so life changing. You probably won't believe me if I said that I turned back into my six-year-old self, but it's true. I lived with Ran and her father, Mouri Kogoro, the worst detective that ever roamed the earth, under the alias of Edogawa Conan and with my father's humongous black-rimmed glasses on my tiny face.

Living in the Mouri Detective Agency was the suggestion of Agasa Hiroshi-hakase, who was like a grandfather to me. He invented plenty of gadgets that helped me solve cases in the body of a child that I had. The most important were the voice changing bowtie, the tranquilizer stun gun watch, and those rubber shoes that gave me back my lost ability to kick due to my size. Those devices aided me when I posed as Kogoro, Sonoko, Heiji—once, but he found me out—and as myself over the phone everytime I called Ran.

I despised living as a child all over again. I had to go back to elementary school again and act like a child. I had to refer to Ran as "Ran-neechan," Kogoro as "Ojisan (Uncle)," and worse of all I had to refer to my _real _self as "Shinichi-niichan." It was a good thing I inherited my mother's acting skills.

The night that Ran met "Conan-kun," she told him—_me _actually—that she loved Shinichi. I blushed beet red at that. If only I could have told her that I felt the same way about her…

More difficult than being a child all over again was the fact that I had to live a double life for _her. _I had to face the many times she became of Conan's true identity. Fortunately, I was successful in hiding the truth from her with Agasa-hakase's inventions and with the occasional help of Hattori or Haibara-san. But I couldn't help but wonder if I was doing the right thing. There were many times I wanted to tell her the truth but I was afraid that _they _might come after her and whenever I got the courage to do so, something would _always _come up.

During my period as a child, I was like her guardian angel, always defending her from murders _and _potential suitors _more _than Shinichi ever did. I was a little boy who was very protective of my "neechan." My love for her deepened and I suppose hers did as well. After all, she had been waiting for my return for a long time already. It's amazing that she never gave up her love or waiting for me. I am forever indebted to her.

I'm also indebted to Haibara Ai, I mean, Miyano Shiho for making the antidote despite the fact that she was the one who made it in the first place. I suppose I should also thank the Black Organization for doing that to me. I learned to become humble and be less of a narcissistic person. I talked less about Sherlock Holmes and mysteries and more about Ran.

If it wasn't for this, I would have stayed a narcissistic mystery geek would have never found true happiness, for my true happiness is being with Ran, Ran, and Ran alone.

* * *

_What do you think? Is it any good? Did I use too many dashes? (I think I did, but I can't quite figure out how to retain the meaning of the sentence without the dashes.) What are the areas I need to improve on? Please be specific! _

_THIS IS NOT A ONESHOT. I plan this to be a series of different memoirs based on possible endings I could think up of. (If you have any more ideas for a possible ending for DC, please feel free to share them. I'll TRY to write memoirs based on those ideas.) These are STRICTLY centered on Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan. (This should give away the next Memoir.) Maybe I'll write Memoirs for the other DC characters as well…maybe. _

_I would like to thank my English teacher for talking about the memoir in class. If you didn't assign us to write our own memoir, I wouldn't have come up with this. (I admit it! I wrote this as practice to write my memoir…well, sort of.)_

_One last note: Don't expect this to be updated often._

_Thank you for reviewing._


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